I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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