About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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