I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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