doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
