thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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