They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a hot homeless man
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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