My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
