I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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