Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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