every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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