I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
