why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
