you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
