If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
