ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You're like the curious george of whores
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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