Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
