I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
