do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
