3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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