so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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