I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
