I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
