Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
