New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
