ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I need moral support for this bender
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
