I must be too annoying 4 u.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
