Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
