Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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