No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
