there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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