she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
