Tell her she can't have a vagina
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The feeling are messing with the penis
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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