i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
