So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
