it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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