another moral hangover. fuck.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
