I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
