I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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