Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
