We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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