He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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