Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
