R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
