one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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