I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
okay pat passed out under dana's car
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
