Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
