Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
