I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
only you would photoshop your dick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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