this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
