just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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