He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
