Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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